Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
