he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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