i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
