I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
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