I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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