I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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