I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
