I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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