her vagine was all disorganized.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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