you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
