Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
