If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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