i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
