that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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