Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
