I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
