the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
