Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
