Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
