It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
