Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
