Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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