so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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