this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
