I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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