Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
