She is in my trunk
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It was confusing and full of hummus
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
