Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i think i have two assholes
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
