is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
