I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
