beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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