you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
