I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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