Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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