I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
