My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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