If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
