this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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