What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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