WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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