Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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