I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
