I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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