Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Fuck appropriateness.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
