Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
