Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
