Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
