who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
