I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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