we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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