there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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