i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't deserve a penis
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
