I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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