are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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